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Urkraftsmester, healer og leder af kvindecirkler

Mellemtilfredshedens klister

Mellemtilfredshedens klister

Det er sådan en lidt blød og varm dyne. Tryg og velkendt, men klistrer alligevel lidt.

Der hvor jeg egentlig drømmer om det store eventyr, men er for magelig til rigtig at lade mig glide ud af komfortzonen. Ja nu skriver jeg glide, men når det handler om komfortzonen, så er det mere noget med et gevaldigt frygtsomt hop. Et af de der hop, hvor jeg har stået længe på kanten og gloet på mulighederne fra min sikre plads. Det suser, der på kanten af komfortzonen, frisuren kommer lidt i uorden og vinden blafrer i mit tøj, mens jeg strækker halsen og kigger ud over den stejle kant. Jeg kan ikke se hvor langt der er ned, for lige neden for mine fødder starter tågen.

Jeg kan puste og puste, i et forsøg på at få tågen til at lette. Jeg kan hente andre, der kan pege på tågen sammen med mig, oppe fra kanten. Vi kan diskutere i evigheder om, hvor dybt der mon er.

Jeg kan sende andre i forvejen, men jeg ser ikke rigtig ud til at kunne forstå deres beretninger, når de så råber tilbage til mig, fra et sted ude i tågen.

Der er kun én vej til at finde ud af det: HOP!

Mellemtilfredsheden hersker der, på den sikre plads, hvorfra vi skuer ud på Landet Lavet Af Muligheder.
Der er tag over hovedet, der er mad i køleskabet, jeg burde tabe mig 5 kilo men kan ikke rigtig komme i gang, jobbet er da ok, sexlivet er lidt på rutinen. Jeg distraherer mig med facebook, skændes lidt med nogen på internettet, drikker noget alkohol, spiser og drømmer mig ud på de vilde vover.
Men jeg sidder ligesom fast, derunder min varme, klistrede mellemtilfredshedsdyne.
Det brænder ikke nok under fødderne på mig, til at jeg kommer rigtig ud over rampen.

Hvis nu huset brændte, ægtefællen skred, firmaet jeg arbejdede for lukkede og børnehaven strejkede? Hvad så?
Ville jeg give op? Bare slippe alting og give op?
Højst sandsynligt ikke.
Måske ville det virke uoverskueligt lige med det første, men jeg har set mennesker klare sig igennem mere lort i deres liv, end jeg troede det var muligt for et enkelt menneske at samle sammen i ét liv..

Kan jeg lide overraskelser?

Ja?
Nej jeg kan ikke J.

Jeg kan lide de overraskelser jeg GERNE vil have. De overraskelser jeg ikke vil have, de hedder problemer og dem vil jeg ikke have i mit liv.

Men problemerne er også dem der rykker mig – og dig.
Kriserne udvikler os.
Der er aldrig nogen god historier, der handler om en mand der sidder i en sofa i 20 år. I hvert fald ikke hvis der ikke rigtig sker andet end det. Så bliver det en autistisk opremsning af enkeltheder i et lidt for kedeligt liv.
Vi bliver ikke inspirerede af den historie. Vi føler os ikke styrket. Vi keder os bare.

Men hvis nu han rejste sig op og gjorde noget. Hvis hans sofa brændte, eller hvis han bare blev så træt af at sidde i den, at han valgte noget andet. Åbnede hoveddøren og gik på eventyr. Som en Forrest Gump der begyndte at løbe. Bange og alene. Ville vi følge interesseret med, mens han oplevede op- og nedture på sin vej? JA vi ville.
Vi ville heppe på ham og ønske ham det bedste.

Men hvad med dig selv? Kan du heppe på DIG med samme kærlighed og accept, som du ville heppe på ham?

Hvad nu hvis alt ramlede omkring dig? Hvis du pludselig fik chancen for at begynde på en frisk?

Nu opfordrer jeg ikke til pyromani, så lad os bare forestille os, at alle dine ejendele brændte (jeg ved virkelig ikke hvor denne her besættelse af ild kommer fra, i dag…) og du samtidig mistede dit arbejde. Hvad så?

Hvad hvis vi legede den leg, at du ikke kan fejle? Hvis der ikke fandtes nederlag og økonomisk afhængighed, hvad ville du så lave lige nu?

Det foregår bare oppe i hovedet på os lige nu, så det er ikke farligt og du kan godt bede Hr. eller Fru Ego-pedant om at skride! Dem skal vi ikke bruge lige nu. De er en kæmpe kæp i hjulet på alle drømme. De er designet specifikt til at holde dig i live, og hvis det kræver at du aldrig må forlade hulen, selvom du er deprimeret resten af dit liv, så er det gerne den pris Ego betaler. Det er ego der gemmer erindringen om alle dine såkaldte nederlag og finder dem frem og begynder at slå dig oven i hovedet med dem, så snart du begynder at drømme.

Giv dig selv lov til, at drømme. Lige så stort som du overhovedet turde.

Er der noget du kan gøre i dag, for at komme nærmere den drøm? Uden at noget behøver at brænde eller at du behøver gennemgå anden større krise.
Husk, drømme er bygget oven på hundredevis af små skridt. Det er de små valg i din hverdag, der afgør hvor du er henne om et år.
Ofte giver vi op på forhånd, fordi opgaven virker så stor og uoverskuelig når vi forsøger, at omfavne den hele på en gang – og iøvrigt ikke kan se gennem tågen, så det alligevel er umuligt at planlægge hele vejen på én gang.
Du kan ikke tabe dig 10 kilo til i næste uge, men du kan tabe dig 500 gram til næste uge – og ugen derefter igen og igen. Men selvom du så planlægger, at have tabt 10 kilo om 20 uger, så sker der noget på vejen derhen, så det måske ikke bliver sådan. Måske taber du dig endnu mere, måske opdager du, at du ikke har brug for at tabe dig alligevel men, at det ønske egentlig dækkede over noget du hellere ville. Du måtte begynde på din rejse, før du finder det. Det dit hjerte virkelig længes efter.

Et skridt ad gangen.

Hep på dig selv, som du ville heppe på sofamanden. Du må godt! Du skal. Du kan ikke forvente, at andre gør det for dig.

Der er som om det kan kræve tusinde komplimenter, at balancere en hånlig bemærkning. I hvert fald hvis du er et stolt menneske ligesom jeg. Jeg bryder mig ikke om, at få påpeget fejl og blive belært. Det er også derfor det har taget mig så pokkers længe at tage hoppet ud af komfortzonen.

Når jeg er synlig og står op for noget jeg mener, så vil andre også få en mening om mig. Og når jeg er synlig vil andre også opdage mine fejl! *gys* INGEN hopper bare ud i det og lander som den rene Oprah over natten. Ikke engang Oprah gjorde det.

Så du og jeg, vi bliver nødt til at vove. Vi bliver nødt til at hoppe.
Også selvom er det nemmere ovre i mellemtilfredsheden, hvor du kan være så gennemsigtig i dine meninger at du ikke kommer på kant med nogen.

Men er det virkelig det du ønsker?

Hop… du kan.

 



74 thoughts on “Mellemtilfredshedens klister”

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