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Urkraftsmester, healer og leder af kvindecirkler

Den skjulte gave

Den skjulte gave

Jeg sætter den ene fod foran den anden, mens jeg går lidt planløst rundt. Solen skinner fra en skyfri himmel og forårs solen gør godt på de blege vinterkinder.

Der er lidt tid endnu, inden jeg skal mødes med min aftale, så jeg ser mig omkring efter noget at bruge tiden på og går i stå.

Jeg er midt i en tid, hvor det er sådan det er. Pludselig holder min hjerne simpelthen bare pause og så må jeg pænt vente til den er færdig. Det er en konsekvens af, at have kørt mig selv så meget ned, at min egen krop simpelthen bare lukker af for mere nu.
Vores kloge kroppe, der kan holde til så meget. Jeg har nægtet at lytte til dens signaler så længe, at den nu måtte gå til yderste konsekvens og simpelthen bare momentært slukke for alt initiativkraft.

Jeg står foran en travl gade og da lydene vender tilbage igen, ser jeg op, hen over biler og cykler der suser forbi mig.
Bag velholdte træer og buske tårner en høj bygning sig op. En kirke.
Jeg har lært tidligt, at have en stor antipati imod den slags bygninger. De er fine nok som arkitektur, men at søge trøst der, det sker ikke.
Men alligevel bærer mine ben mig hen over de hvide striber på forgængerfeltet og over til det grønne løv.

Der sidder mennesker på bænkene i det grønne omkring kirken, både alene og sammen. Alle er de travlt optaget og jeg får lov at være for mig selv. Jeg når at tænke på, om de ser den skønhed de er omgivet af?
Men sådan er det jo for de fleste af os. I hverdagens skønne rus ænser vi ikke så meget omkring os.
Der er så meget vi skal nå.
Men jeg går her og er blevet smidt ud af hverdagens skønne rus og er nu tvunget til, at se.

Nærvær.

Uha, bare lidt ad gangen. For meget er overvældende, selvom jeg har en tendens til at ville indtage livet i store grådige bidder.

Jeg går hen ad flisegangen og op til den tunge trædør. Jeg bliver i tvivl om, det er i orden at gå derind.
Et øjeblik tør jeg næsten ikke engang prøve at se om døren er åben, for den låste dør ville svide som en afvisning i mit sårbare hjerte.
Jeg søger trøst, men tør jeg?
Jeg er ved at få døren i hovedet, da en ældre dame åbner døren indefra og skal ud. Hun smiler til mig og jeg ser at, hun er engel der byder mig velkommen.

Indenfor bliver der stille. Byens larm er væk og istedet er der den velkendte rumklang fra det store kirkerum. En støvsuger ligger midt på gangen mellem rækkerne og jeg står lidt og kigger.
Prøver at være så usynlig som mulig og tager mod til mig.

Jeg beslutter mig for, at sætte mig på en af de bagerste bænke og bare være lidt.
Når min hjerne ikke holder sine pauser, kører den derudaf med en kværnen og der skal så lidt til, en tanke der kommer forbi, før mit hjerte begynder at dunke i mit bryst.
Jeg sidder stiv på bænken og prøver at være.
Jeg ser figurerne på væggen, hvordan bænkene er slidt af utallige knæfald. Jeg hører lyden af mennesker der pusler, men jeg kan ikke se dem.

Min krop gør en dyb vejrtrækning og falder lidt mere ned i støtten fra den bænk jeg sidder på.
Jeg folder hænderne i skødet og lukker øjnene. Det føles som det rigtige at gøre.
Bare et øjeblik, tænker jeg.

Og her sker det. En høj lyd går igennem kirken og mit flossede nervesystem er højspændt på et splitsekundt!
Jeg åbner øjnene på vid gab og stivner.
Alt ånder dog ro og fred i rummet mens jeg ser rundt og i øjeblikket efter går det op for mig, at det er orglet der er begyndt at spille. Jeg falder til ro og lukker øjnene igen.

Tid og rum forsvinder for mig, mens tonerne fordeler sig ud i rummet.
Selv min hjerne opgiver sit ævred, uden at gå på pause.
Jeg sidder der og suger hver eneste tone til mig. Jeg har aldrig hørt orgelmusik i en helt tom kirke før og det er fantastisk! Hele min krop vibrerer med de smukke toner og løsner noget inden i mig.
Jeg er som eneste gæst til en koncert spillet særligt for mig og jeg bobler over af dyb taknemmelighed over den trøst der blev givet, da jeg ledte efter den.

Musikken dør ud med lidt leg hen over klaviaturet. Jeg er tydeligvis trådt ind i en lille øvesession for organisten og almindelig hverdag for kirkens ansatte. Organisten vil aldrig vide, hvilken betydning det havde at han besluttede sig for at øve, lige præcis i det øjeblik. Men for mig var det en gave, et mirakel, jeg altid vil have med mig.

Da jeg træder ud gennem den tunge trædør og ud i dagligdagen igen er det med et hjerte fyldt med kærlighed og snart går jeg ind i et varmt knus. Tiden havde svøbt sig om hele oplevelsen og passede perfekt.

Vi går grinende over for at få en kop kaffe, mens jeg lige sniger mit til at kigge hen over skulderen og sende et skjult luftkys over imod kirken, der står rank som om intet lige er sket.
Udefra er alt som det plejer, men dem der kunne se, de ville vide det.

 



275 thoughts on “Den skjulte gave”

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  • Los Blancos, with captain Sergio Ramos suspended after deliberately collecting a yellow card in the first leg, had been looking to build on a slender 2-1 lead from that game in Amsterdam and stay on course for a potential fourth straight European triumph.

    However, after Raphael Varane’s header rattled the crossbar, Ajax raced into an early lead through Hakim Ziyech before Dusan Tadic set up David Neres for a second in the 18th minute.
    tinyurl
    Real Madrid were forced into two changes when Lucas Vazquez and Vinicius Junior went off injured, with substitute Gareth Bale hitting the post just before half-time.

    Ajax looked to have put the tie to bed when Tadic swept in a brilliant third goal just after the hour – which was eventually given following an extensive Video Assistant Referee review to check if the ball had gone out of play in the build-up.

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  • Inter Rapid Wien live score (and video online live stream*) starts on 21.2.2019. at 20:00 UTC time at San Siro/Giuseppe Meazza stadium, Milan, Italy in UEFA Europa League, Knockout stage – Europe. Here on SofaScore livescore you can find all Inter vs Rapid Wien previous results sorted by their H2H matches. Links to Inter vs. Rapid Wien video highlights are collected in the Media tab for the most popular matches as soon as video appear on video hosting sites like Youtube or Dailymotion. We’re not responsible for any video content, please contact video file owners or hosters for any legal complaints tinyurl.

  • Ernest Quintana, 78, was at Kaiser Permanente Medical Center in Fremont when a doctor – appearing on the robot’s screen – informed him that he would die within a few days.

    A family friend wrote on social media that it was “not the way to show value and compassion to a patient“.

    The hospital says it “regrets falling short” of the family’s expectations.

    Mr Quintana died the next day.

  • Theresa May says she has secured “legally binding” changes to her Brexit deal, a day ahead of MPs voting on it.

    But European Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker” warned if the deal was voted down there was “no third chance”.

    They spoke at a joint press conference in Strasbourg after a late meeting.

  • Christina was born in the royal castle Tre Kronor on 18 December S. 8 December] 1626. Her parents were the Swedish king Gustavus Adolphus and his German wife, Maria Eleonora, had already had two daughters—a stillborn princess in 1620, and then the first Princess Christina, who was born in 1623 and died the following year.3] Excited expectation surrounded Maria Eleonora’s third pregnancy in 1626. When the baby was born, it was first thought to be a boy as it was “hairy” and screamed “with a strong, hoarse voice.”she later wrote in her autobiography that, “Deep embarrassment spread among the women when they discovered their mistake.” The king, though, was very happy, stating, “She’ll be clever, she has made fools of us all!”6] From most accounts, Gustav Adolf appears to have been closely attached to his daughter, and she appears to have admired him greatly.

  • A court has ruled that the building is illegal, and the €57 million ($64 million) Chateau Diter will now have to be knocked down.
    Property developer Pierre Diter, who owns the chateau in the town of Grasse, in Southern France, has 18 months to raze the building and faces a fine of €200,000 ($226,000), Pierre-Jean Gaury, attorney general at the court of appeal in Aix-en-Provence, told CNN.
    “Patrick Diter was accused of having executed important works on a land without authorization,” said Gaury.

  • French President Emmanuel Macron has appointed a panel of experts to investigate France’s actions during the Rwandan genocide 25 years ago on April 7.

    Macron has also met representatives of a group of survivors in. Paris

  • Ryska militarfartyg kommer till Filippinerna samtidigt som spanningen okar kring Sydkinesiska sjon. Men framfor allt expanderar nu Kina langt us i Stilla havet. Det vacker oro i USA eftersom Kina anses hota de amerikanska ubatar som ar helt avgorande vid en konflikt.

  • The Portuguese road Prevention agency (PRP) has this week called for more and improved traffic stops in Portugal. The agency has also deemed current actions by law enforcement officials as ineffective in dealing with the majority of serious traffic offences.

  • 25 mg – skutecznosc Viagry 25 mg potwierdzilo 63 badanych, co oznacza, iz juz najmniejsza dawka wykazuje pozadane dzialanie u panow z zaburzeniami erekcji. Jest polecana na poczatek, jezeli wczesniej nie bylo stosowane zadne inne leki na potencje. Dobrze sprawdzi sie tez u panow, u ktorych przy wiekszej dawce obserwuje sie niepozadane reakcje organizmu. Dawka 25 mg jest tez odpowiednia dla mezczyzn o drobnej budowie ciala i tych, ktorzy przyjmuja leki typu alfa brokery

  • Jak Twoj organizm reaguje na Viagre? Tabletke nalezy zazyc ok. 30 minut przed planowanym stosunkiem. Jest to konieczne, aby skladnik aktywny mial odpowiednia ilosc czasu na calkowite wchloniecie. Po ok. 12 minut u niektorych panow mozna zaobserwowac pierwsza reakcje organizmu. Czas potrzebny do calkowitego wchloniecia to ok. 25-30 minut, a maksymalne stezenie Viagry we krwi osiagamy po uplywie ok. 57 minut od zazycia tabletki.

  • W mniejszej liczbie przypadkow pojawiaja sie bole w klatce piersiowej, pogorszenie, a niekiedy utrata sluchu, krwawienie z penisa i nosa, podraznienie oczu, suchosc w ustach, omdlenia, zawal serca i obnizenie badz podwyzszenie cisnienia.

  • Początkowo eksperymenty wyglądały jak zwykły biznes. Wtedy zaczęło się dziać coś dziwnego i nieoczekiwanego. Badani zaczęli zgłaszać bardzo dziwne – i podniecające – skutki uboczne. Podczas gdy Viagra nie była tak skuteczna w leczeniu chorób sercowo-naczyniowych, jak mieli nadzieję naukowcy, była wyjątkowo skuteczna w robieniu czegoś innego: otwieraniu tętnic w prąciu i zalewaniu tkanki erekcji krwią. Innymi słowy, trudno było ludziom – czasami nawet przez cztery kolejne godziny.

  • Na pewno alkohol ma niekorzystny wplyw na aktywnosc seksualna, dotyczy to rowniez mezczyzn bez zaburzen erekcji. To oznacza, ze w przypadku zazywania viagry bez recepty moze obnizyc jej skutecznosc. Ogranicz zatem spozycie alkoholow wysokoprocentowych i zdecyduj sie np. na jedna lampke czerwonego wina.

  • Doświadczony felietonista Playboya przewidział, że kontrowersyjne leki będą „ tak monumentalne jak pigułka antykoncepcyjna ”, a wydawca Penthouse’a okrzyknął go cudownym lekiem „uwolnienia amerykańskiego męskiego libido” od feministek, które „ emasculate ”je. W 2001 roku Viagra była światowym fenomenem. Roczna sprzedaż leku przekroczyła próg 1 miliarda dolarów , co czyni go jednym z najbardziej dochodowych leków Pfizer na receptę, jakie kiedykolwiek stworzono.

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  • jniższa dostępna dawka Viagry, którą można przepisać. Twój lekarz może zalecić tę dawkę, jeśli wystąpiły działania niepożądane po przyjęciu dawki 50 mg. Twój lekarz może również zalecić tę dawkę 25 mg, jeśli uznają, że niższe dawkowanie będzie dla ciebie bezpieczniejszą opcją. Może się tak zdarzyć, jeśli bierzesz pewne rodzaje zabiegów, takie jak: HIV (inhibitory proteazy HIV) Wysokie ciśnienie krwi (alfa-blokery) 50 mg Zazwyczaj jest to pierwsza dawka zalecana przez lekarza. Jest to również najbardziej powszechna dawka, jaką przyjmą mężczyźni, a większość mężczyzn uważa, że ​​wystarczy poprawić erekcję. W zależności od tego, czy ta dawka

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